Are you in a toxic relationship?

In the wise words of a Maroon 5 song, “It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise”, that makes a relationship. While it is true how accepting your significant other for their best and worst selves saves relationships, it is quite common to overlook toxic conditions when you are used to it. So how exactly can you make sure if the romantic relationship you are in is still healthy?

Being in a toxic relationship affects your self-esteem, your happiness, and your relationship with other people. Knowing you’re in one will help you protect yourself from the toxicity an unhealthy relationship brings. Continue scrolling as listed below are common signs or red flags to keep an eye on.

• Keeping score and guilt-tripping
  Bringing up old arguments and past mistakes over and over again is a major relationship red flag. Guilt-tripping your partner and making them feel bad about things you agreed to move past on, is the wrong way to go. At some point, you should sit down and talk about whether you can truly move on from the issue and no longer bring it up or move on from each other entirely.
• When they are not happy with your success
  As partners, you should not see your partner as competition. You should be happy for your partner’s success instead of being insecure and jealous. Having each other’s backs and being on the same team is what relationships are supposed to be. Insecurity between partners will bring nothing but pain and conflict in the relationship.
• Everything leads to an argument
  If it comes to a point where you watch yourself, everything you say and do, just to avoid an argument or if every conversation eventually leads to an argument, then you should really start to reevaluate the relationship. Hostility and constant anger is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
• Lack of communication
  Ultimately, relationships are built on mutual understanding and communication. If there’s no proper communication, what else can you hold on to?
• It negatively affects your other relationships
  If your romantic relationship is already building a wedge between your friends and family, it might be time to call it quits. If a person loves you, they must also love and respect the people you love. And, if people close to you tell you they notice something wrong, you might want to try and hear them out.
• There’s no privacy
  Everybody, even those who are married, deserves some level of privacy. Demanding to check your phone, having your passwords, or reading through your personal messages to make one feel secure, is different from sharing and trusting. Respecting your S.O.’s personal belongings and boundaries is where trust begins, and having to share those with each other should be a comfortable decision by the both of you.
• Lying and cheating
  If your partner has kept grave secrets from you, has tactlessly lied to you, or has cheated on you, it only shows the lack of respect that they have for the relationship. Mutual respect is essential in every healthy relationship. Selfish interests break trust.
• You always feel bad when you’re together
  Your partner should be your source of strength and comfort. Your relationship should be where you feel most at ease. Why would you be with someone who makes you feel bad and unhappy all the time? If at the end of the day you feel more emotionally, physically, and mentally drained when you’re with your partner, take a step back to think if the relationship still builds you as a person or breaks you piece by piece.
• Controlling and overbearing behavior
  Being in a relationship with someone does not mean that the person owns you. It’s a partnership. You should be willing to listen, understand, and compromise. Telling you what you can and can’t do, as well as limiting your world, can mean there’s a lot of insecurity and lack of trust in the relationship.
• No respect for physical boundaries
  Even if you’re in a relationship with someone, NO still means NO. Nobody, not even your partner, can force you to do something you do not want to do. Pushing your boundaries and trying to make you do things you are not comfortable with shows a lack of respect.
• Abusive behavior
  Abuse, may it be physical, emotional, mental, or verbal is a definite deal-breaker (Read: Abuse is not always physical). No one deserves to be treated less than how a person should be. Better make a run for it, quick! And never look back.

Couples deal with setbacks differently, like how some may run into a few signs every so often to help them grow together. Yet at the same time, others see the flags to save themselves and strengthen their next healthier relationships.

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