Nililigawan pa lang ako ni “boo” ay may red flag na kasi ang tagal nila ng ex nya. Valentine’s day dapat sasagutin ko na sya, pero nang ghost na siya. Di na nagreply yun pala nagkabalikan na sila ng ex niya. Nagtanan silang dalawa for 2 months hanggang sa bumalik na si “boo” sa family nya at nakikipag-ayos siya sa kin. After a month, nanligaw at since may feelings pa ko sa kanya, sinagoy at OFFICIALLY naging kami na.

Fast forward, okay naman noon. Yung una naming intercourse, pinilit nya ko nun. sabi nya patunayan ko daw na mahal ko siya. So ayun ginawa namin at lagi na nya kong inaaya kahit ayaw ko at kahit pagod ako galing work. Nagagalit siya kapag umaayaw ako. Sinisigawan nya ko at sinasabihang “boring”. Almost everyday yun, He used me as an object to satisfy himself. Ang dumi ng tingin ko sa sarili ko nun kasi nga “good girl” ang alam ng parents ko sa kin at mga kaibigan.

Ika-6 months namin together, nagselos ako sa mga kausap niyang babae sa IG at FB. “atr lang” daw nya yun, may anak na daw kasi. Hanggang sa nag-away kami at nabuksan ko FB nya, nabasa ko lahat at nalaman kong nag iiloveyou sila sa isa’t-isa. Pinaabot ko pa ng isang buwan bago ko nauntog at nakipag break.

Nung nakipag break ako, nagchachat pa sya gamit account ng mama niya, ayusin daw namin pero sabi ko ayoko na. Hanggang sa may times na nagyaya siya makipagkita, dahil nadala na naman ako sa mga salita nya, may nangyari na naman. sabi nya break na sila nung “ate lang” tapos nalaman kong di pala. . Alam kong may mali ako. Hanggang ngayon nasa isip ko pa rin kung bakit ko nagawa yun.

Now, wala na talaga kaming communication. Thankful ako na nakawala na ko sa toxic relationship na yun. I’m single na for 2 years.

“Akala ko ginusto mo kasi matagal mo na kong crush diba?”. He assaulted me habang natutulog nung nag hangout kami sa house ng friend namin.

I met a guy sa text, let’s call him “A”, this was way back when textmates pa ang uso and friendster pa ang in. 3rd year high school kami nun pareho, meron kaming common friend, isang guy na nag aral ng elem and grew up sa town namin and lumipat sa town nila (LB) at school ng high school.

It all started as simpleng text lang, simpleng friend lang, we never saw each other sa personal, we talked lang sa texts and calls sa landline and cellphone, we know how each other looks like through uploaded pictures sa friendster. Then nag summer, incoming 4th year araw araw communication namin and calls, I fell for him, naging kami. All throughout 4th year high school okay naman, araw araw kumustahan either text or pag maluwag sched e tawag. Super smooth sailing, pero never pa kami nagkita.

Then plinano namin pareho sa Manila kami mag aral ng college para dun magkasama kami, malapit lang kung gusto namin magkita, along U-Belt lang para magkalapit kami.
Summer before kami magcollege, dun na pumasok yung talks about kissing and sex. Then sabi nya sa birthday daw nya pa-birthday ko na yung sex, first time namin pareho, I agreed naman kasi December pa birthday nya baka magbago pa isip nya or baka naman maging ready rin ako by then.

We first saw each other first week ng college life namin, malayo sa home towns namin.
Everything went south after that, I declined some types of skinship, we would often get into fights, and then ghinost ako, he asked a friend to tell me na engaged na daw sya, the heck 17 years old wala pang one month na di nagparamdam.
But I end up keeping my virginity intact when I was still young and not that knowledgeable about consent and safe sex, lol thank God I wasn’t rushed or forced and got matured enough before losing it.

“A” would still slide into my DM’s 5 years after that, like parang walang nangyari.
He would still message me like magkita kami or lumabas kami, then would hint na may sex after namin lumabas. Lol, clown, he kept doing that for years, specially pag malapit na birthday nya, would always ask to have sex with me. I decided to cut ties with him kasi mukhang di na worth it kahit friendship, blocked him on social media.

I should’ve known na when he wanted to have sex with me as a gift for his birthday, I should’ve taken it as a sign na yun lang habol nya.

Idk, if this still fits the context but I want to use this platform for me to get this out of my chest.

I met this guy through mutual friends, we message each other frequently and eventually we finally met. Little did I know that this guy was the one whose gonna scar me for life.

He would hit me up after work, asking me to hang-out and have a drink with him. I declined several times and noticed that when I decline, he goes moody and made me feel like he was giving me a cold shoulder over his replies. I once agreed to his invitation and came over. I thought we were only going to hang-out but I found myself pinned down by him and his hands and lips all over me.

After that encounter, he asked if we could do it again but this time in a motel room. Of course I said no but he then told me if I said no I’d pay half of the weed he wanted to buy. To save myself from further harm, I agreed at the latter.

He invited me to hang-out again, this time I told him that I dont want to go if he just plans to have sex. Puta, sya pa yung na-offend? Nagalit/nagtampo sya nung sinabi ko yon, e totoo naman. He made me feel bad and made me feel like I was wrong to have said that. To make up for it, I just went over. Sana tiniis ko nalang yung guilty feeling.

Once I was there, he immediately offered me to smoke with him. I told him I dont want to do it and that Im not interested but he then shotgunned it to me. With weed and alcohol in our system, one thing led to another.

He was just using me. I knew after this I need to leave. As I wait for that moment to end, he did something that I NEVER asked him to do. He did anal penetration without my consent. I kept screaming and telling him to stop but he just kept going. I was already crying in pain and screamed as loud as I could. He stopped and told me “Wag ka ngang maingay, may makakarinig satin e!”

I told him what he did. He said it was only by accident and asked me to blow him until he finished but I just kept crying as I was cleaningg myself up. I felt that he was disappointed with what happened as I told him Im going home. He only said sorry once and that wasnt even heartfelt.

I confronted him after a week of being cold and distant with him. I left him 2 days before my birthday. He still wanted us to be friends but I told him I couldnt be friends with a pig.

This all happened in a span of a month.
Months later I found out I have STD.
He was the only guy that I had sexual encounter with.

Met him through a dating app and I went on a date with him just for fun. Thought that he was cool and we were both studying Psychology so it might be interesting to get to know him more.

On our first date he kept asking for some “alone time”. Hindi daw kasi intimate enough ang date kapag naglalakad lang sa mall o kumakain. Mas enjoy kapag kwentuhan sa motel na kaming dalawa lang. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea and he mansplained to me na I was feeling that way because I care too much about what other people will say.

On our second date, we were just walking tapos bigla hinila niya kamay ko towards a street tapos parang playfully niya ginawa so medyo tumatawa pa ako. Kaya niya pala ginawa yun kasi may motel sa street na yun and when I found out, sabi ko balik na kami. Ayaw ko talaga. Tapos hinihila niya parin arm ko, may force talaga pero tumatawa siya para hindi magmukhang forceful yung ginagawa niya. I felt like andun naman na, bahala na susunod nalang ako.

Until I agreed makipagmakeout. Sabi ko makeout lang, with clothes. He wanted to undress me. I said no. He was pulling off my clothes while laughing uli para kunwari playful lang and he’s joking around but he was really using some force and hindi ko malabanan yun. Tawa lang siya ng tawa habang hinihila damit ko, I kept saying no talaga and I admit I was sort of laughing too kasi he was laughing eh. Pero I know he knew it was not a “trying hard” no. I never said yes to taking my clothes off. It’s not that hard for him to know I didn’t want to do anything past kissing.

Until he undressed me. I felt helpless so I just laid there. He promised not to put anything in. He jacked off outside. Wala na ako magawa so I just laid there. Waiting for him to finish. I wished na sana matapos na agad kasi di ako kumportable. He jacked off and used me until he came. I only said “Tapos ka na?” tapos ayun. He became nice and kind na. Normal na uli. Putangina niya.

I only realized I was raped 1 year after. Akala ko kasi kasalanan ko yun kasi bakit hindi ako tumakbo? Baka dapat mas lumaban pa ako?

I still feel disgusted about that event that happened 3 years ago and I still partly blame myself for it.

There was this guy na ka MU ko, it started since highschool though on and off kami. College na ulit kami nagkausap to give our story a chance. Then 1 day, habang masaya kaming nagtutuksuhan at nagkekwentuhan habang naglalakad sa kalsada, he told me “Pwede naman kitang palitan. Gusto mo ikaw pa pumili eh. Alam mo naman na kung sino?” And my idiot ass got so shocked to the point na I just laughed at his shitty joke not knowing kung pano irereact ko don cause it hurted me so much.

Pero wala na kami ngayon. And my gut was right, sila na ngayon nung girl na ‘ipapalit’ niya sakin daw non.

I was raped by my ex the first time na pumunta kami sa kanila.

I thought he would finally introduced me to his parents. But they didn’t acknowledged me, instead they want me to go home, even though it was already late. He assured me that its okay for me to stay the night there, that there will be room for me, when there really wasn’t.

We’ve shared his room that night. And that scene happened. He forced me to have sex with him when I didn’t really want to, he forced his dick on me, really hard that I’m crying and I know that I’m bleeding.

And it happened everytime we met, even in public places, he’ll make a way for that. He touched me on my sensitive part even in public transportations.

I was disgusted to myself, that I let him do those things to me. I’ve been afraid of breaking up with him kasi baka ikalat niya na nagalaw na niya ako, cause I’ve look like a trophy to him.

Until a year passed na I’m having plans to escape him, good thing siya unang nakipagbreak.

Now I realized how maniac he was. He already have a child to a girl that he was in a relationship for a few months. Luckily, that wasn’t me.