Hello po, this is my first time writing something in an online freedom wall. I wanted to tell this is a bisexual young adult living in a very conservative society tho andami na pong representation in terms of mainstream media pero i’m still afraid po about what other people might say about me.

I was in senior highschool and sobrang confused ako because its my first time liking the same sex, pero i always had an inkling that i can be the with both genders pero i always find women attractive and are gorgeous beings.

I started having identity crisis when i was in 4th or 6th grade…so i think dun na po nagstart. So i confided with my close friend at that time nahahalata niya na may gusto ako sa isang classmate namin, lagi niya kong nahuhuli na i would steal glances to that girl every once in a while.

Then eventually i get to confess my feelings to her pero i knew that she don’t see me as being in a relationship with her but i still consider her as a lesson that love sees no gender.

As of now i’m still in the closet enduring this pandemic as a med student, i never knew that i would find genuine people who will accept me for who i am…especially my very important friend alias maeve wiley because she always have my back i would describe her as a understanding and a jolly person and she deserves all the love i was so happy for her. So thank you maeve for being there for me and also my rainbow bro who i didn’t expect na magiging ka close ko dahil lang sa isang subject our friendship blosommed hehehe.

So its been hard living in the closet especially sa family kase idunno if halata ba nila or they don’t address it bcs natatakot sila what i might say to them because to them its a process and their my parents ayaw nila na makita ako na hinuhusgahan ng ibang tao…but it will be more hard if i didn’t accept myself.
But just like everybody else i wanted to be in love and experience it.

I was sexually abused by my stepfather when I was 11 years old. The abuse went on until my 3rd year in high school. I am a well-functioning adult in society and I would like to trust that I’ve forgiven everyone involved especially myself. I forgive myself for holding on the trauma because I really didn’t know how to let go.

However, despite making peace with that impactful event in my life, I feel as if it’s still affecting me especially in my kinks. I hate to admit it but incestuous themes are frequent recurrence in my sexual journey and is this stemming from that time? I don’t want to do it. Heavens, no! But the thought of it really turns me on.

I was 17 at that time na I got to virtually talk with someone, he was older than me. Then di ko namalayan na napunta na sa kabastosan ang topic kasi di ko masyado na intindihan pinagsasabi niya at first. Hanggang sa bigla nalang niya pinakita iyong penis niya habang minamasturbate siya sa camera.